Hanson's Ridge
Like so many people, I struggle with finding a balance for my social media usage. I love the friendships that have been strengthened through Facebook and Instagram. On the other hand, it's so easy to mindlessly scroll.
I've been on Facebook long enough to remember a time before the Newsfeed. You had to visit people’s profiles to see their status. And yes, I can remember AOL chat rooms and instant messenger too. Recently, I talked to someone about the time we spent crafting our away messages. Now, there is no “away.” We are constantly available, with the internet in our pockets. It's a blessing and a curse. It's so easy to passively connect in the Digital Age. To be fair, I wasn't a good correspondent before digital connection made things easier. Now I can scroll voyeuristically, clicking like as I go by. And then I feel like I know what's going on in the lives of the people I know. But I don't. Don't get me wrong. I love family photos, little snapshots of text, and even commentary on current events. But it's not a whole picture. It's a public face. Last night, I had an authentic conversation on Messenger with a friend. It felt good. It's hard to talk on the phone with small children around. (And I have a lot of social anxiety around picking up the phone to make a phone call….always have but it's probably something I should work on). But one on one connection is such an improvement. Awhile ago, I took my friends list down to under 150 people because I researched to find the number of people one person can actually keep up with, and that's the number. It was hard. And yet I still found myself mindlessly scrolling and not feeling any more intimately connected. I'm friends with many family members on Facebook. While I love seeing their posts, Facebook is not a replacement for actual connection with them. Yet it's easy to fall into the trap of using Facebook in that way. On top of that, the state of our world is anxiety inducing. I read the newspaper almost every day, so I'm informed. Watching everyone on Facebook share their reactions to the news just increases my nervous system reactions. I've been relatively open about my experience with postpartum mental health issues. What I realized was that it was part of a longer history of struggles with anxiety. (I had a panic attack that sent me to the emergency room because I felt like I couldn't breathe and somehow thought it was an isolated incident. I was 16.) As I become more reflective and self-aware, I am better at recognizing triggers for anxiety. Facebook is a huge source of anxiety for me. Yet I value the people it has given me...acquaintances from high school that have become friends in adulthood, connections to people in my community that I would not have met otherwise, maintaining relationships in the living history world in the months between events. Deleting Facebook, or even deactivating my account for a shorter period, would deprive me of many of those people. I've tried Facebook fasts. They go ok. But it's hard to stick to. I've tried limiting my amount of FB time each day. But it's hard to monitor if I get on the computer. So here's my new idea: I'm going to use Facebook for connection. I'm going to visit pages. I'm going to try to comment and not just like. I'm going to private message folks and hear the real deal about what's going on in their lives. (I could say I'm going to write letters and call people, but I’m going to be realistic here. I can’t do that for 150 people). Want in? Message me! Tell me what’s going on in your life. Tell me what you’re reading or watching. What are you dreaming? (Not Facebook friends? You can still message me through FB, or text me. Email me even).
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AuthorHi! I'm Stephanie Hanson. I live with my husband, Himself, on Hanson's Ridge in Virginia. Archives
September 2017
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